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November 30, 2003
playing for the other team
I'm watching the Seventh Heaven episode where the father refuses to attend the wedding of his oldest son because he's marrying a Jew (or maybe not because he's marrying a Jew, but because he's going to convert to Judaism to marry a Jew). Good stuff.
I'm also going through some of C's pictures. She's still not back from Florida yet, so I've done a little rearranging. While I was moving boxes I found a box of her pictures (and I'm sure she wouldn't mind me going through them!) There's the always fun childhood/teenage pictures (including some great ones of sister D). Then there's the guinea pig pictures. And then there's many, many, MANY pictures of college age C with her arms wrapped around college age boys. A lesser person would be upset by this, but not me. Oh no. My only thought: poor boys, you didn't have a chance.
I'm sad to report that, if the next 3 hours go smoothly, I will have broken nothing in the apartment while C was gone. I've done everything right: laundry, guinea pig feeding and cleaning, kitten feeding and cleaning, dishes, sweeping, making the bed, etc. I'm a good monkey.
Shoot me.
Posted by me at 03:27 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
November 29, 2003
in honor of T2, who is working on a saturday night
I'm watching "Working Girl" on HBO. Thoughts: wow, Melanie Griffith was chubby (yeah yeah, she probably weighed 105 there, and now she's just aneorexic and weighs 70), and, yes, all secretaries DO really come from Staten Island. Oh, and there's nothing like watching Kevin Spacy do coke.
Posted by me at 08:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
this one time, at law camp
I had to write a memo, only I had no idea what the memo was supposed to be about.
I went home (Detroit) for a grand total of 36 hours: I left NYC at 7:30 am Thursday, got back to NYC at 10:45 pm Friday night. Why, you ask, did I do this? To make my mother happy. If I weren't a girl, I'd be a mama's boy.
C is still in Florida, with her own family. She has to go to a wedding today (HAHAHAH!) and I don't; I have to write a memo today (whimper) and she doesn't.
The kitten, guinea pigs, and I are getting along splendidly. I have not broken anything (yet). The kitten has broken at least 2 cd cases, and spilled about 10lbs of cedar shavings. He is now sleeping on the bed, because he needs to rest up to break more stuff later.
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Mine, besides being short, was eventful: my father finally admitted that my uncle has an illegitimate child, my aunt's husband didn't say one bad thing about football (he's canadian, and feels the need to say nasty things about american football) OR about black people (I won't repeat what he said last Thanksgiving), my brother actually woke up in time for thanksgiving dinner, and the weird girl (don't ask) who is living at my mother's house (don't ask) had to work, so she wasn't there.
Currently, I'm listening to a streaming radio station on Real Player. When I bookmarked this station months ago, it was classical. It appears to have become Christian Contemporary. I'm both too lazy to change the station AND strangely intrigued by these catchy songs about playing football with Jesus.
Posted by me at 02:31 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
November 24, 2003
Gawker.com made me laugh so hard today I spit coffee all over my keyboard
The woman who played the prostitute on Six Feet Under died. Shit. I liked her almost as much as I hated the woman who played Nate's girlfriend (Brenda?), whom she (the now dead woman) turned into a big old whore. Of course, I hated Nate's old girlfriend (Brenda) almost as much as I hate his current wife. Bah. And, as T2 is wont to point out, I have a lot of hate to go around.
Posted by me at 03:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
And I always hoped that I was the inspiration for Stewie
This guy is onto something. Scroll down to the quotes (and note above the first quote how he references Stewie from "The Family Guy".)
As an aside, this poor, poor fellow appears to be in some sort of grad program at my (and many of my readers') alma mater (law school), the good ole U of C. His main complaints seem to be the amount of time it takes to get anywhere on public transportation from Hyde Park (right on, brother. And even worse for you, being a New Yorker you're probably used to going everywhere relatively quickly with public transportation. Oh ho ho--not so in Chicago! At least not on the southside. Buy a car. NOW!), and the lack of fellow (orthodox) Jews on campus. I can't speak to this last one, except to say that Hyde Park has a lack of EVERYTHING--Jews, bars, places to buy watch batteries, places to buy anything useful, restaurants that aren't Thai, etc. The only thing Hyde Park has a lot of? Scared and/or really bored white people in their late teens and twenties.
Posted by me at 03:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 23, 2003
about nothing
For some reason, I haven't been able to write in here for awhile. Some of this is because I literally haven't had the time--I have tons and tons of work to do. Some of this is just because I've been stressed (T2 says I'm going to get an ulcer), can't think of anything but work, and don't have anything interesting to say.
Went to Peter Luger's last night with C, C2 and T2. It was, of course, excellent. The people watching was just as good--1/4 tourists, 1/4 ancient, rich looking men with 20 yearold women, and 1/2 B&T. Totally worth going to stare, even if you're a vegetarian.
TT made "Princeton Law" t-shirts and sent one to T2 for me, for which I'm eternally grateful.
In the future, I'll be adding parantheticals to my links that say "work UNSAFE"--by default, assume that everything else is safe. This is for T2, who hasn't seen the "Modest Swimwear" website yet, because he was afraid to click on the link. Modest Swimwear is definitely safe. Disturbing, but safe.
Posted by me at 11:08 AM | Comments (13) | TrackBack
November 14, 2003
i want this catologue for christmas
will someone order this for me, please? it's free!
i want to photocopy it and send it to all those slutty girls in florida.
i wonder which religious denomination this originated from. it's obviously christian (duh. look at all those scrubbed, white faces.), and it can't be amish because they probably aren't into lycra...hmmm...southern baptist?
i'm ridiculously excited over the prospect of getting this catalogue as a gift. order it. NOW.
Posted by me at 04:39 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
November 12, 2003
one word: florida.
"If your daughter is wearing one of these bracelets, it certainly doesn't mean she's having sex, following through on the Snap game, or even knows about the code,." (sp.) But, hey, we'll "report" this piece of "news" anyway just to worry you and brand your 10 year-old as a slut!
Posted by me at 05:22 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
I passed the bar exam
Now I can resume worrying about death, taxes, and politics.
Posted by me at 03:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 11, 2003
in honor of it being NY-bar-exam-results-are-released Eve, I pose this question
Does anyone know which D.C. Superior Court Judgewas dumb enough to hire Stephen Glass? Is he related to our black face wearing friend from Louisiana (see below)? Did Glass take a bar exam? And did that state (presumably New York, since he lives here) admit him (there are ethics requirements...)?
Last, but certainly not least, why can't idiot plagiarizing "journalists" grow up to be doctors? Doesn't my profession have enough bad press?
Posted by me at 05:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 10, 2003
i...will...uh...huh...well...
where do they get these idiots? raw food communes?
Posted by me at 08:50 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
chicken and egg...er, avocado and seed?
I've got to ask: does the raw food diet make people stupid, or do only stupid people start on the diet?
Background: about 9 months ago my girlfriend and I (me in spirit--i was still in Chicago) moved out of the basement apartment and up to the first floor apartment in the same apartment building she's lived in for about 5 years. She had found friends of friends of friends to move into the basement apartment. It turned out that these people were raw foodists. It also turned out that these people were totally dumb. Seriously, dumb as rocks. I could think of examples of dumb things they did and list them here, but you wouldn't believe me so it's just not worth it. Trust me, they were dumb. And then the dumb raw foodists decided to move to Thailand to study Buddhism (i am sooooooo not making this up. They're there now. Dead in a gutter after getting mugged by some local teenagers, probably. Or dead in a gutter from starvation because they're raw foodists in a culture that must get the majority of its calories from cooked rice. Dumb dumb dumb.). Although they eventually found some friends to take over their lease, initially they were going to just leave and break the lease, screwing the landlord and C, seeing how C was the one who recommended them for the apartment to the landlord in the first place. Lovely. So not only are they dumb, they're dumb assholes.
Anyway...
And then today I read this, which, to paraphrase, closes with "I just went to Pizza Hut! I love being a raw foodist!" Huh? Dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb.
Posted by me at 02:10 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
sure looks like a woman from kentucky to me
best thing about this? Her/his initials are "BJ."
Posted by me at 01:34 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
annoyances, noted
1. Bruxelles (restaraunt on Greenwich right off of 8th Ave. Thinks it is nicer than it actually is) bitchy waitress from hell. The mussels were excellent, but the waitress needs to get her tight ass booted off the brooklyn bridge. Next time (and oh yes, there WILL be a next time, lady) I'm bringing C2 drunk, T2 drunk, and C's sister, D totally sober--she doesn't put up with that kind of crap.
2. Guy on the V train in a suit with his whole body wrapped around the center pole so he could read (drumroll) THE POST. yes, THE POST! for chrissakes, buddy, get some self-respect--if you're going to be rude and insist on hugging the pole so you can read your fucking newspaper, at least read an ACTUAL PAPER. In the end, he did very little reading, as I grabbed the pole and probably pinched his nipple in the process, he pulled away quickly and looked sad that he'd have to wait 10 minutes until he got to the office where he could furtively read The Post tucked behind an old Wall Street Journal.
Posted by me at 09:43 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
November 08, 2003
I wouldn't trust these guys to pick out their own ties in the morning
Hell, I wouldn't trust them to pick out their own socks (and I bet they own 20 pairs of identical black socks).
Here. Or, if they've changed their front page already, should still be here.
Somebody in PR is going to get fired over this one. Dumbasses couldn't find one "I honor my husband AND wear a power suit (with a skirt, of course. no pants.) at the conservative christian thinktank I work at" type woman to stand and watch Bush try to remember his name so he could sign it?
Posted by me at 10:12 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
November 03, 2003
first year as an associate update
1. I now have work. Lots and lots of work.
2. At lease three days a day I confirm to the partner and the senior associate that I'm work with that yes, I am an idiot, by asking idiot questions ("so um, what time is the conference call?" "you didn't read the e-mail?" "oh").
3. I got my first paycheck on Friday, so now, while I might be an idiot, I'm an idiot with cash.
Posted by me at 10:41 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
November 02, 2003
greenpoint = north williamsburg.
Yes, "Williamsburg" spreads, just like bedbug infestation. Just ask East Williamsburg and Bushwick...
"He suggests that the increase is due to the recent influx of young Greenpoint residents who pick up used furniture from the street or sleep on mattresses close to the ground." What he didn't say (or the Times didn't print...) was "because they're stupid idiot hipsters who think it's cool to pick up mattresses of the street and sleep without a bed frame."
click here. Registration required.
Posted by me at 06:53 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
November 01, 2003
if c2 was there we would've gotten into a fight and we would've broke out
i am never, ever going out on halloween in the city again. (for example: on the train home i got called "a dumb christian who is too lame to dressup" because i told some stupid drunk fuck hipster to stop neighing like a horse at the top of his lungs, annoying EVERYONE on the train. why did he call me a "dumb christian"? well isn't it obvious? it's because...uh...well...apparently ONLY christians weren't dressed up neighing like horses. THAT'S it. if you'd gone farther south to see the hasidim, they would ALL have been dressed up, shabbos or not. yeah, that's it! and the bible i was carrying and the huge crucifix around my neck. idiot. seriously, though--if you're going to get all angry and mean, can't you think of something better than "dumb christian"? even i managed to call him a "cocksucker" as i got off the train...)
saw "kill bill". thoughts: i always knew uma thurman was ugly, i just never realized HOW ugly. lucy liu is hot. ugly japanese school girls are kind of hot, too.
i'm feeling fat and lazy (and christian!) because they're blocking off the street a few buildings away so that this can run through my neighborhood tomorrow.
Posted by me at 01:24 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack