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October 30, 2003
on the L train
overheard: young, gay asian male to old, dirty white male: "we really need to get a bong." white male replies: "yeah, I don't know what happened to mine. I lost it when I moved out of my ex-wive's house." they got off at bedford, of course.
thinking: i've been stressed and angry lately, so i've been listening to 50 Cent (which, frankly, just makes me more angry at the idiots around me, but does seem to relieve some stress). On "Don't Push Me," an otherwise lovely track that I particularly enjoy, Eminem joins 50 and at one point raps "how would I look as man bowing to his knees / Like the mad cow disease." And I'm sorry, but that's just lame. No one should rhyme with "mad cow disease." Really, really lame.
wondering: why the HELL does the NR (which I've just transferred from. Thankfully, it has significantly less hipsters than the (hel)L.) stop at 23rd AND 28th? Can we please just get rid of the whole 28th street station and let me get home 45 seconds faster? Thank you.
Posted by me at 11:06 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 28, 2003
naughty by nature
And God bless Engrish.com
Now go do something constructive, you dirty homo!!
Posted by me at 01:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 27, 2003
trucker fucker, part 2
what good timing!
not to be mean, but...is anyone surprised by this?
yeah yeah yeah, I get all my content from gawker. i'm unoriginal.
look, i'm a 25 yearold white girl from the midwest, with absolutely NO claim on the neighborhood, the burrough, the city, or the state. and yet, *I* get ridiculously angry every time i see some prick in a trucker hat. now imagine that you were born and raised in williamsburg and are a 15 yearold boy who travels in a pack with other teenage boys (as teenagers are wont to do...). of COURSE hipsters are going to start getting beatdown. it's not right or forgivable, but it is certainly understandable, no?
hmmm... Can what the hipsters have done and are doing to williamsburg really be called "gentrification"? I mean, sure, the rents have gone sky high and there are now snooty bars everywhere, but are the hipsters "gentry"? there's no way in HELL that the neighborhood is "cleaner" now. please. it's totally scummy, just like the hipsters.
Posted by me at 01:37 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
what i did this weekend
because you're just dying to know. admit it.
1. on friday night i went to mugs with c. for a burger. while its clientele includes a fair share of annoying hipsters, this is more than made up for by the generally friendly waitresses and good hamburgers. and wings. yum.
2. later friday night i laid in bed in pain, because my hamstrings were killing me after three days in a row at tae kwon do class.
3. saturday morning the plumber came and explained to us that the bathtub wasn't backing up because of hair (guinea pig and human) and wood chips (yes, c. washes the guinea pig cages in the bathtub) (is "bathtub" one word or two? oh well.), but because the pipes were like from 1880 (ok, he didn't say that) and corroded. so we got all new pipes and now the bath-tub (compromise) drains! hurrah.
4. saturday afternoon c's friend came over and interviewed c about a failed dot-com she used to work for (hint: you could have both porn AND icecream delivered right to your door in major metropolitan areas in less than an hour!). And I watched Michigan KICK Purdue's ass.
5. saturday evening we went to dinner with c, c2, c2's brother (who is also named c2), t2, and c's friend. we had sushi and c2 paid because last weekend we helped him move out of his depressing hovel in queens to a room with a skylight in a nice neighborhood (sans hipsters) in brooklyn. jerk.
6. saturday later-evening we (minus c's friend and the other c2) went back to my apartment and watched the Marlins KICK the Yankees' ass, thus winning the world series. c2 cried.
7. late saturday evening we picked up my friend R and went to quite possibly the most annoying party i've ever been to in my entire life, in a tiny apartment stocked (i kid you not) WALL-TO-WALL with hipster trash. it was awful. the music was awful. the weed? awful. god help me, i haven't been this uncomfortable since i had an 8 hour interview at a law firm. c seemed to enjoy it, though. by the end i was so crabby and pissed off about stupid ugly hipsters staring and whispering about me and my friends that i was about to knock some stupid ugly hipster heads together. word.
8. sunday morning i went to breakfast with t2, who had spent the night. then t2 had to go to work. on a sunday. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. he does have the right idea, though--get so drunk off of half-pints of jack daniels that you don't remember walking home (and don't remember repeating over and over and over "i should have asked for that girl's number...i should have."), so you have a good time at the stupid ugly hipster party (or, if you have a bad time, at least you don't remember it.)
9. sunday afternoon c and i went to target. and bestbuy. and dsw. we did not buy shoes, but we did buy pacman and half life for the ps2, and a second controller. we also bought candy in case kids show up on friday night (doubtful--children are afraid of hipsters, and rightfully so. but we'll probably have 28 y.o. jackass hipsters dressed up as characters from some samuel beckett play, or as members of the yeah yeah yeahs knocking at the door. god i wish i had a shotgun.), lots of hay for the guinea pigs, lots of diet pepsi for me, and some other stuff that i'm sure was important to c (like papertowels) but that i can't remember right now.
10. sunday night c made spaghetti, i ate it, c played half life, and then we watched carnivale.
then i went to sleep and now i'm here sitting at work, bored. duh.
Posted by me at 10:26 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 25, 2003
when kittens attack!
It all started so innocently. Curious, the kitten peers at me from behind the screen...
But then, the teeth and the claws came out...
And before I knew it, a frontal attack was on!
In less than 3 minutes he conquered the Powerbook, claiming it as his own!
After his toils, like the God of the Old Testament, he napped.
Ah, but he didn't rest long! He jumped up, determined to have not only my laptop, but my digital camera as well!
No match for the huge teeth and claws jutting out of his 5lb frame, the camera was lost. I hope my cell phone's not next...
Posted by me at 12:38 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
SATURDAY MORNING¸!Q
there's a kitten laying on my keyboard. it is really hard to type this. HE IS BITING MY FINGERS. HE JSUT TURNED CAPSLOCK ON*&(*$98P9
OWWWWWWWW
to tq
Posted by me at 11:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 23, 2003
I now pronounce you husband, wife, parents, and the state of florida
Much of this is incoherent. Bear with me.
What's great about the Terri Schiavo case is that it shines a bright (blinding, glaring, billion watt) light on the incoherence of conservative family politics. Combine right to life rhetoric with a 39 yearold vegetative married woman, her husband (wants to let her die), her parents (want to keep her alive), the sanctity of marriage and so-called family values and you've got a big fucking mess for the conservatives. Why? Think about it:
1. Marriage between a man and a woman is sacred and should be respected.
2. Life (defined so broadly as to reach a point of absurdity; so broadly that they can't even define it without relying on platitudes) is sacred and should be respected.
3. Traditional family is sacred and should be respected.
Ah yes, the Marriage-Life-Family triumvirate. So Mr. Schiavo goes and gets an order allowing his wife's feeding tube to be removed against her parents wishes. And then the Florida Legislature, in a bizarre move that reminds me of something that would happen in, say, college student government, turns around and passes a law allowing the governor to stay the court order, and the feeding tube is replaced. [The wording of the law is excellent, btw. It tries to be general, because apparently the Legislature has the lightest of grasps on the notion that individual-specific laws generally violate equal protection, but its version of "general" pretty much rules out everyone but Terri Schiavo. A must-read.]
KABOOM! Obviously, this is unconstitutional and Mr. Schiavo's lawyers are going to have a field day with it. But that's not our concern. The real problem is the convergence of all these conservative values and the Republicans' reaction. So, what do we do when a grown woman's husband wants to take out her feeding tube? We go around him, by any means necessary, and keep her alive. Because apparently keeping a vegetative woman alive against her husband's wishes (and, according to him, against her own wishes) is more important than respecting their marriage. Apparently life trumps marriage. Unless it were the other way around--say, her parents wanted to remove the feeding tube and her husband wanted to keep it in--then we'd hear both the right to life rhetoric AND the sanctity of marriage rhetoric. Blah.
So what do you say, guys? The Pro-choice movement babbles on and on about "a women's right to choose." What about a husband's right to choose? Since when do we let Gov. Bush and the Florida legislature impose themselves on normal, decent marriage between man and woman?
Posted by me at 10:53 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 22, 2003
reason 9 million to move out of williamsburg
stop the insanity you stupid motherfuckers.
i live a block away from this. no wonder i found a huge fucking roach in my apartment last night.
notice the author's heavy reliance on the thesaurus...ah, smell the pretension.
choice quote: "...artist and native son of the early Williamsburg scene..." Yeah man, work that street cred, work it! let's translate, shall we? "I moved here from Florida in 1997!" [stomps foot and sniffles.] "Way before the rest of you posers! I mean, I remember when Planet Thai was just a storefront on Bedford, not the B&T dining mecca it is now." [pauses to catch his breath. Shakes a greasy strand of hair out of his eye. Shoves his hands into the pockets of his tweed blazer, aka the new trucker hat.] "Did I mention that I dated a Japanese girl once?"
Posted by me at 05:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
today i've...
1. Gotten coffee three times
2. Read the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal
3. Read slate, salon, wired, and slashdot
4. Downloaded and played Snood
5. Called two different loan servicing companies about the status of my loan consolidation application/my perkins loan grace period
6. Gone to lunch once, and the bathroom three times
7. E-mailed my mother, my father, and my girlfriend
8. Discussed the temperature of our office (it's freezing!) with my officemate at least three times
9. Look at the new 2004 Hondas on Honda.com
10. Read some random blogs
11. Catnapped
Today I have not...
1. Done any work
Posted by me at 05:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 21, 2003
and the shit smells sweeter
You should read this NY Times article (sorry, registration required) about why NYC ambulances cost a lot more than other ambulances. A LOT more. Although at the end of the article they do admit that the included radio makes a big difference.
This is my favorite part:
"You get what you pay for," said Assistant Fire Commissioner James Basile, who oversees the vehicle fleet. "I can comfortably say that we get 10 years out of these vehicles. There are no other roads like there are in New York City, and the vehicles we buy have to be able to withstand that." [emphasis mine]
Now, if he'd argued that these ambulances make more RUNS than ambulances in other cities because of NYC's population density, blah blah, I'd give him that. But, to paraphrase, "our roads are different here"? Oh please. He's never been to Detroit. The potholes on the Lodge (a freeway) make the ones on the BQE look little and pathetic. Our roads are different here. Give me a fucking break.
The bagels? Now THOSE are different (and better).
Posted by me at 09:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 20, 2003
growl.
Now that I finally have an assignment, my Next Big Worry is whether to buy Panther now or later. I should probably just buy it now, right? Right. I know I want it. There's no point in waiting (ok, there is--I have no money and should wait until I have some).
If only I could have 4 people with Macs move into my house so I can get the family license and split it 5 ways...
Posted by me at 10:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
no, i still don't have any work to do
salon article 80000000000002 that i've linked to
"...when they received their first female priest, this year, they decided to call her Father Marcia because they didn't know what else to call a woman priest."
for some reason, i think that's really precious.
Posted by me at 10:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 16, 2003
life as a first year associate...
...blows. and i haven't even done any real work yet! my practice group is overfull. people are being cutthroat about work. and it's day FOUR. jesus.
unfortunately, i'm one of the people who hasn't gotten an assignment yet. my officemate got an assignment. so now i get to sit around worrying why she got one and i didn't. :) of course, as soon as i GET an assignment, i'll be up 24 hours to finish it, and then i'll be unhappy i ever got an assignment in the first place.
you just can't win.
Posted by me at 06:57 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
October 14, 2003
any takers?
I bet that I won't last 6 months at this job. I won't quit, but I will be fired. Anyone want to match it?
Posted by me at 08:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 12, 2003
walking the line
I start work tomorrow at 9 a.m. This is the culmination of 23 years of schooling, from preschool through law school. For once, I'll work hard, and someone will pay ME for it, instead of the other way around. For once, I won't have three weeks off in December. For the first time, I'll be a real adult.
God help us all.
Posted by me at 05:18 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
October 09, 2003
Getting C's Goat
A couple of weekends ago, when my Mom was visiting, we went to the Central Park Children's Zoo, which has a petting zoo area. As I think we all know, C loves animals. She calls them all "babies" or "piggies." Sheep and goats are no exception. They have a petting area for sheep, and one for goats, and C took full advantage of this opportunity--she took her 50 cents, got some sheep/goat feeding pellets, and pushed all the toddlers aside (sorry, kids). I took a great picture of C bonding with a really big goat.
So tonight, we're watching Law and Order on TNT (surprise, surprise!) when the NYC 311 commercial comes on. (For those of you who don't know, 311 is New York City's non-emergency number. You know, for all those times your neighboor's heroin addicted son comes home at 3am screaming about "Franco" and "that dumb bitch" for 3 hours. That's a noise violation there, yesirree. Actually, they might be ok with you calling 911 for that. I guess you're supposed to call 311 to ask why your garbage wasn't picked up today...oh wait, your garbage wasn't picked up today because you don't live on the Upper East Side and the Mayor had to make budget cuts somewhere...silly me.)
Ok, so anyway, the goat C. bonded with is in the commercial. He's tall and white. He might not even be a goat. I've never seen a goat this tall. But then again, what do I know about goats? And to C, he's just a "baby" anyhow.
Notice how they have the exact same facial expression (well, the part you can see, below the big blue identity protecting rectangle). Hmmm...
Posted by me at 08:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Cat Updates
First, he went to the vet. He only weighs 2.6 lbs, not the 3 or 4 lbs that I estimated.
Second, for only weighing 2.6 lbs, he sure can fart. 450 lbs farts come out of this cat.
Posted by me at 05:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Dear Jesus
While reading one of what must be HUNDREDS of articles written about Revolve, a really creepy New Testament that looks like a fashion magazine and is supposed to capture the hearts and minds of young teenage girls and turn them towards Christ (through godly guys and makeup?), I found a link to a magazine published by Focus on the Family (sorry, I just can't find it in my heart to even link to them) for teens, called Brio.
Now, click on the Brio link here, please. Do you see the "Dear Susie" graphic? NEED I SAY (or not say) MORE?
Oh Jesus, please help me. I'm on the floor typing this in side-splitting agony. I can't breathe!
Posted by me at 03:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 07, 2003
little furry bundle of joy
As promised --
Posted by me at 02:24 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
October 06, 2003
it's a boy!
About 3-4 lbs, maybe 9 inches long. We picked him up at the ASPCA yesterday. So far, he's spent his time knocking over DVDs, staring at the guinea pigs, cuddling (he likes to cuddle, which is good, because C insists on cuddling), and sleeping.
i'm in love.
pictures forthcoming.
Posted by me at 10:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
October 04, 2003
final: michigan sucks
You know, it's one thing when you lose to Oregon (badly): maybe it's a fluke. It's another thing when you're kicking Iowa's ass, and then you STILL end up losing because you fuck up all your punts. Stupid fucking idiots. And then all those Iowa idiots get all excited--as if their team is good. Sorry guys, your team still sucks--Michigan just happens to suck worse. Jesus.
I'm going to go lay in bed in the fetal position and cry now.
Posted by me at 07:14 PM | TrackBack
October 01, 2003
I love fall
I love changing leaves and dead leaves and temperatures below 60 but above 40. I love wearing long sleeves and coats and jackats and hats. I love it when my bedroom is cold and I can cuddle under the covers (with my monkey). Fall makes me excited even when I don't have anything to be excited about. Fall is about beginnings--for the past 22 years or so of my life, it means the beginning of school. Hey, I'm a loser--I loved starting school. For the first time in my life I'm not starting school, but I will be starting a new job in a couple of weeks.
Anyway, I just love fall.
Posted by me at 01:47 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack