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August 29, 2003
i now know how i'm going to amuse myself for the next month and a half
courtesy of T2, it's: Hipster Bingo! [And, yes, we do own a 70s vest. and i have a blog and a digital camera. and we're both short. fuck you.]
my firm is giving me a Blackberry. I know, I'm a whore for the Man. I can't help it! It's shiny and accesses e-mail wirelessly! I could die happy, clutching it to my sellout breast.
in other news, C forced me to go here to buy dresses. Blah. She's a good girlfriend, though. I could hardly stand myself while I whined about not liking dresses; I don't know how she does it, and i don't know WHY she does it, but I'm glad she puts up with me (and loges me!)
Posted by me at 06:55 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
meaningless updates
wow, i'm bored.
apparently, i wasn't the first person to note the idiocy of hipsters running in 70's era pumas at McCarren Park: The Village Voice got there first! Yes, BUY SOME NIKES! or asics! reeboks! addidas! new balance! just make sure they were made since 1990 and made for running! in fairness to the hipsters, it's not just them: yesterday, there was a mexican man running in work boots (seriously. leather, steel-toed, red wings) and jeans. and there are the old polish guys who run in their black socks and wing tips...
And I like all the soccer games. The guys are very friendly when the ball escapes in my direction and my pathetic sweating, out of breath, white girl ass tries to kick it back to them.
Posted by me at 09:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 28, 2003
things that have been annoying me lately
in no particular order:
1. the "oh yes we can can" song on the slimfast bar commercials.
2. christina aguilera.
3. people who do ASININE things at the track: run around it clockwise (when everyone on earth knows that you run on tracks counter-clockwise), bring your 80 kids under 4 to play on the track and run into me with their scooters/bikes/flailing kid arms, decide to do pushups/situps/yoga in one of the lanes for 20 minutes even though there is PLENTY OF SPACE off to the side to do pushups/situps/yoga.
4. george w. bush.
5. the new weight watchers commercial where the co-workers bring in pizza and the fat weight watchers woman says "well I would have been happy with a salad, but I was overruled" and then dives into a slice. oh whatever, you lying bitch--no one is happy with a salad.
6. friends who forward me really dumb things even though forwarding really dumb things went out of style c. 1995 and everyone knows it.
7. the futon. when, god, will you bless us with a real couch?
8. time warner cable, obviously.
9. you.
Posted by me at 12:16 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
August 27, 2003
searing shoulder pain
yes, seriously. and i don't know why. sure, i've been doing a lot of pushups lately (I'm trying to get my arms less flabby for D's wedding, considering that not only are they forcing me to wear a dress, it will no doubt be a sleeveless dress--gotta get rid of the farmers tan, too. And they [D, C, and JT] won't hear the end of it if JT's brother-in-law really does show up in shorts and i have to wear a fucking dress. I don't care if he's a surfer--if I have to suffer, so should he.), but by "lately" I mean for the last 2 months, so you'd think if that was the cause it would have manifested itself sooner. There is also the issue of the numbness in the little and ring fingers of my LEFT hand--the shoulder that hurts is the RIGHT one. I assume the left hand numbness is the ulnar nerve pinched (or i had a stroke. one of those.), so maybe I pinched a nerve in my right shoulder too?
Who knows. All I know is that I'm miserable, and I just made the problem worse by attempting to go running in 90 degree heat. I am a moron.
I'm going to take well over the recommended dosage of aleve. later.
Posted by me at 11:50 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
August 26, 2003
so.
i won't even get into the time warner fiasco (let's just say it involved going onto the roof of the apartment building, which i now know is unlocked and entirely available for me to explore, one good thing), but at least the internet works--for now.
anyway, ireland was great. detroit was great, too--except for the first two days during the blackout, when it was hot and sticky and dark and i had no idea how C was fairing in NYC b/c i couldn't get ahold of her (FYI: she was fine, although she had to walk like 120 blocks from upper manhattan, across the williamsburg bridge, to get home). then it was off to northern michigan with my dad, and the area our cabin is in was unaffected by the blackout.
so, now i'm home. not much going on--saw the new pornographers last night at the bowery ballroom (they were amazing as usual), hassled time warner for a week and a half, read some, bachelorette partied for C's sister, etc.
Posted by me at 08:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 22, 2003
my 11 year old stepsister could provide better customer service
this will be short, since i'm tapping into my across-the-street-neighbor's wireless connection (it's ok, he allows it) and the signal is weak.
i got home from michigan to find that the cable modem had blown. after C talked to several time warner drones (two of whom weren't clear on what a cable modem even was...sigh) i got to drag my ass to 23rd and Park in 90 degree heat, wait an hour and a half, and get a new modem. i took new modem home, where it still doesn't work, called time warner and talked to two more drones who didn't know what the fuck a cable modem was, and then got "the next available service appointment!" which happens to be five days from now. great.
so, i'm not ignoring you, my blog (nor am i ignoring YOU, loyal readers--all five of you!). i just don't have a fucking internet connection. and, considering the lackluster customer service i've been receiving from time warner, i may not have one ever again: the cable guy might never show up ("he'll arrive between 10 and 2!!" right.); he might show up and not know what a cable modem is, etc.
Posted by me at 10:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 13, 2003
motown
ah, nothing like getting up, getting in a hot shower, reaching for your washcloth and feeling nothing because YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CRAZY AND EITHER A) USED IT TO WASH HER FEET, B) USED IT TO WASH SOME PART OF A GUINEA PIG OR C) JUST DECIDED SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT THERE AND PUT IT IN THE LAUNDRY.
and then, as i'm making the bed, i discover a huge Henry turd. you see, every morning before i get out of bed the girlfriend mentioned above brings me one of the guinea pigs and makes me pet it and kiss it. this morning she brought Henry, the fat ass guinea pig. he shits like a motherfucker.
i love you monkey!!
i'm off to detroit for a week with the family, where instead of missing washclothes and shitting guinea pigs, I'll deal with no clean towels and puking cats. oh boy.
Posted by me at 09:32 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
August 12, 2003
sebastian
I know the picture is big, but you'll just have to deal--he deserves a big picture. Sebby died last night, at around 8:30. C came home from work and we held him for hours, gave him a bit of water, petted him and talked to him. At some point he started moving around a lot and fighting against being held, so we laid him in his cage. C asked me to show her our Ireland trip pictures, which I'd uploaded from my camera onto the computer earlier. So we went through them and marvelled at her skill at taking beautiful pictures from a moving car. Of course, we both kept glancing at Sebby, who was calm now. When we got up from the couch 10 minutes later, he had passed away.
So Sebby, this is for you:
You were the best piggy in the whole world.
C and I and Henry, Ella, and Baby Girl love you very much.
We know that you are out there somewhere, playing with Belle, and Beatrice, and Hardy (and maybe Jesse and Alex, too, even though they aren't piggies).
We know that you don't have bumblefoot anymore, although you might still be died a bit purple, because purple looked good on you.
You're drinking lots of water and eating lots of sweet fruit (and maybe even drinking water with sweet fruit juice in it!)
You can see and hear. You're running around like crazy. You're a young piggy again.
Thank you so much for spending your life with us.
We miss you.
Posted by me at 08:07 AM | TrackBack
i'm northern state, don't you hate!
being feminists and not pretending to be black and ghetto when they're white and rich is great and all, but the problem is that they really can't rap. i've seen them. twice. they can't rap. i like rap. i like white girls (i'm one, so is C). i'd be absolutely fine with a good group of white girl rappers (especially ones that didn't pretend to be black and/or ghetto when they're not). but northern state just plain sucks. i'm sorry. even if they do wear cute little cargo skirts and know who sylvia plath is. [and why exactly is the writer of this article so obsessed with what they're wearing and not with their (crappy) lyrics?]
here's a review that sums up how i feel about the whole topic: pitchfork mag review "Armed with the weakest flow in town, squeaky Amy Fisher accents, and a stultifying, wrongheaded sense of entitlement, Hesta Prynn and pals have created the most awful rap record since MC Skat Kat went solo." Precisely.
Posted by me at 07:42 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
August 11, 2003
brilliant.
got back saturday. much jet lag. i will post pictures of cows and tell stories about drinking later.
sebby is really sick, so i'm distracted and sad and can't write much more.
glad to be home, glad to be done with the bar, glad to be sitting on the couch, but not glad to be worrying over this poor guinea pig.
Posted by me at 06:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack