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July 31, 2003
gone fishing
don't think i failed the bar exam.
happy to be going far, far away on vaction.
see you in 10 days.
Posted by me at 03:50 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
July 28, 2003
good luck
Posted by me at 02:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
double the pleasure, double the fun!
i cracked an egg with a double yoke today.
as each yolk reperesented one day of the bar exam, i smased them both.
so then instead of one sunny side up fried egg with two yolks, i ended up with this omlette concoction. it was ok. kind of dry, though.
i thought about adding some long metaphor about the two days of the bar, using romulus and remus and suckling the wolf and all that, but i decided against it.
near where i grew up in michigan, there's a town called romulus. when i read the story about romulus and remus (in herodotus? thucydides? totally forgotten) in some pretentious honors class in college (we didn't do the classics in high school. it was a public school.), i mourned the lack of a town named remus, which would have been cool (if really weird.)
speaking of really weird...
um yeah. my brain is fried.
Posted by me at 09:14 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
July 26, 2003
i certainly won't be attending church after this insult
they are (LOUDLY) filming a movie directly in front of my apartment.
god has cursed me. he wants me to fail the bar.
UPDATE 7/27/03: I did laundry instead. While at the laundromat, I sat next to a man wearing a kippah (yarmulke. i prefer the hebrew word [i think yarmulke is yiddish] because it's easier to spell. in fact, i have no idea if i'm spelling the y-word right, but i'm too lazy to look it up, and i know you don't care), which is enough religion for one day, right?
Posted by me at 04:22 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 25, 2003
i am incapable of caring for myself
so C., girlfriend extraordinaire, left from work to go to Florida to see her family, leaving me here, alone, all weekend. of course, this should be a good thing, because it will allow me to direct all my attention to studying for the Bar (yeah right). C. seemed nervous this morning: reminding me over and over to feed the pigs, take out the garbage, water the plants, etc. me: "yeah yeah yeah. i'm 25, i can take care of myself."
oh, how wrong i was.
for the past day and a half i've been entirely unable to study for the bar. instead, i've read some of my new favorite blogs, watched tv, putzed around the lower eastside (under the auspices of going to a coffee shop to study), etc. today, my boredom reached a new low and i decided to make chili. i have no idea how to make chili. i don't even know how to spell it, actually--1 L (one l. haha. fucking law students.) or 2? anyway, that's not the point. the point is i needed an onion, and onions, in C's perfect wisdom (and anal organizational scheme) are kept in this hanging wire basket contraption, which dangles from the ceiling, far above my head. being too lazy to climb up on a chair to claim an onion for myself, i tried to use a spatula. bad idea. i some how broke the hanging basket contraption:
picture 1 is the contraption, now broken. picture 2 is the floor beneath the contraption, after I cleaned up the onions, oranges, garlic, etc--everything but the onion skins, which you see pictured (and which I cannot bring myself to pick up). picture 3 is the bowl i transferred all the onions, oranges, and garlic (which were rolling like gangbusters around on the floor) into, being unable to put the contraption back together.
and, much as C. feared, the apartment has quickly fallen into disarray:
Clockwise from top left: kitchen sink, full of dishes from the chili experiment. refrigerator, woefully lacking in symmetry and linear precision (C is a big proponent of refrigerator item alignment. a type of feng shui for produce and various soft drinks and juices, if you will). two of the many, many glasses i have used today, all left out on the coffee table. one of my socks on the bedroom floor (in the MIDDLE of the bedroom floor. HAHAHAHAHA!). the bed, unmade.
so what have we learned? i'm a hopeless mess by myself. and it promises to get more messy and more hopeless by the end of the weekend: this is only early friday evening, after all.
things are so bad, henry is ripping up his newspaper bedding in a subconscious cry for help:
gotta go, the seinfeld "bubble boy" episode is on!!
Posted by me at 07:20 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
July 24, 2003
trucker fucker
why is everything i love betraying me? even seals are turning against us (probably after seeing one too many dumbfuck tourists in trucker hats. has this horrible phenomenon reached Antartica yet?).
I just got 30 out of 50 NY multiple choice questions right. put that in your pipe and smoke it.
i had a dream about the cake i bought for C's sister's (who will from now on be known as "D") wedding shower. it was a really nice cake and all, but I don't know why I was dreaming about it. Of course, I also had a dream about negative easements--I shit you not. And I KNOW why I had that dream.
i've decided to make a pilgrimage to my local catholic church for mass this sunday. i think praying is in order. and candle lighting. and annoiting with oil. and sacrificing something big and cloven-hoofed for god. this line of defense has the added benefit of pleasing my mother, who periodically likes to impart the importance of church attendance. perhaps i should also hit temple, masjid, and protestant church as well. can't hurt. and maybe i should go to mass on monday, too. and light more candles.
pray for me.
Posted by me at 09:17 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
July 23, 2003
so much for anonymity
i'd rather do this:
than study.
Posted by me at 02:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
July 22, 2003
as if i weren't having enough problems
our "patio" is flooding.
choose the best answer: i can't tell if the plants are a) happy, b) drowning, c) about to float away, d) barred by the statute of frauds.
Posted by me at 02:32 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
this post will make no sense to those who aren't studying for the bar (you lucky bastards)
so i've been consistently scoring about 2 points on NY essays (out of a possible 10). what did the barbri drones tell us we should shoot for? 4 or 5? sigh. t2 is doing about the same--neither one of those are going to be enough to pass--unless we both get almost all of the MBE questions right (I'll pause now so you can roll on the floor, laughing).
by the way, i hate holders in due course. and buyers in the ordinary course. (mostly because one is "due" and one is "ordinary" and the difference in wording serves no descriptive or fuctional purpose, but is merely confusing, and it would be much easier if they were both "holders in due course" and "buyers in due course" or both in "ordinary course" not one "due" and one "ordinary.")
Posted by me at 08:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 21, 2003
my multi-talented friend
this makes me so incredibly happy. i literally giggled when i saw it. like high pitched, girly giggling.
as C said when she saw it "so if the lawyer thing doesn't work out, he has something to fall back on."
Posted by me at 09:02 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
July 17, 2003
good day
well, i'm having a much better day than i did on tuesday. yesterday was good, too--all day studying in the cafeteria at C's workplace = no internet, minimal distraction.
this morning i got up with C, showered, walked her to get coffee, left her to go to work, picked up a bunch of Village Voices for the guinea pigs' cages (a constant chore. much like alternate side of the street parking. this must be how hunger-gatherers felt: they were on a constant search for calories; i'm constantly searching for Voices and Mon-Thurs or Tues-Fri parking. They eat, I lug and park, and then it begins again.). Moved the car from the Tues-Fri side to the other side of the street at exactly 9:30am (when the parking rule goes OUT of effect) so I don't have to search for Mon-Thurs parking tonight! Yippee!
Now I have to study evidence, ugh.
Posted by me at 09:57 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 15, 2003
incapacity is no defense
it's darker than the time, tall buildings allow little light, and on top of that, it's hot and smoggy. the stoop is warm to the touch. people walk by, up and down, left and right, lost in their own people-worlds, streets intersecting. a car horn, some yelling, no laughter. it doesn't smell like anything, not even garbage. there are trees and air, but they smell like nothing, not like summer. and this dullness begs the question: is it them, or is it you? could you smell the trees and the air air and the garbage in michigan? or are you just incapable of any of it?
Posted by me at 04:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 14, 2003
fuck 2
i'm going to fail the bar and there's not a thing you can do about it.
i'm having bad dreams about the Javits Center.
whine.
Posted by me at 05:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
fuck.
i miss my friends. i'm crabby and don't feel right in my skin and i don't feel particularly smart or motivated right now. i don't know why i think i'd be more motivated if i was back in Chicago at the Reg with I and T2 and god knows who else, instead of on this futon in Brooklyn fuming about rude old Polish men (who, btw, can kiss my ass).
I love my girlfriend. I love our apartment. I love C2, and the girlfriend's sister and her fiancee, and R, and some other random friends here. But I miss MY friends from Law School.
I know it's dumb. I should be studying and not missing people. But I miss them anyway. Even the uber-annoying ones.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Posted by me at 04:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
on kissing my ass.
all the grumpy, ugly, nasty Polish old men in williamsburg can kiss my ass. that's right, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
this is not at all an attack on Polish people. it just happens that all the grumpy, ugly, nasty old men in williamsburg happen to be polish (and, again, they can KISS MY ASS).
oh, and all those assholes in my Barbri class (which ended today, thank god) can kiss my ass, too. Especially that aneorexic European girl [1) I really don't have anything against Europeans. I'm equal opportunity--there were some annoying Japanese people, too. 2) She was European as in FROM EUROPE, not European as in "my ancestors are French."] who carried around a little purse shaped like a stuffed animal DOG that was too small to hold anything but her cellphone, who constantly talked to her European cohorts during class, and who was generally just a total bitch. I hope she fails.
I hope all the grumpy old Polish men fail anything they attempt, too.
And again, everyone can kiss my ass.
Posted by me at 03:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 13, 2003
vengeance is mine
Got this in an e-mail from my old landlord in Chicago the other day: "P.S. i kicked out that kid that was living next store (sp) to you. I took your
letter serious and thought for all concerned, it was better if he moved
elsewhere." Oh yes, I wrote a letter. Two, actually. I'm a letter writing kind of gal.
Anyway, some might say it's too little, too late. I'm just proud that I got the fucker evicted, even if it was AFTER I moved out.
Posted by me at 05:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 11, 2003
ALL-bany, but NOT for me!
Hallelujah Praise Jesus, I'm taking the bar at the Javits Center in good ol' MANHATTAN.
Posted by me at 03:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
the curse of C2
last night on IM C2 asked if we wanted to go to sushi at some point in the near future. C1 said no, because we're broke (which is true). and that's where i think the curse started.
the alarm didn't go off this morning. it was set correctly (am, not pm). it was turned on. nothing. we woke up at 8:15 instead of 6:30. actually, I woke up at 8:15 and woke C1 up. If it was left to her to get us up, we wouldn't have realized the alarm hadn't gone off until like noon.
2 minutes later, C1 is in the shower, and i'm sitting on the couch, doing my daily e-mail/salon/ny times check. i'm clunked in the head by something big and cardboard-like, only thicker and heavier and more painful. my first thought is "why on earth would C1 throw something at me? that's not very nice." my second thought is "oh wait, C1 is in the shower." it was C2's painting. he gave it to C1 last year, and we hung it above the couch. for no apparent reason, it just fell off the wall and onto my head. it also fell onto my computer, which is now making an unpleasant whining noise. damn you, C2!
so C1 leaves for work. i'm now about an hour and a half late for Barbri, so I say "fuck it" (literally, out loud) and go running. whilst running around the track, i'm lapped, TWICE, by a pregnant woman. i mean, this woman was REALLY pregnant. and she lapped me. twice. my only consolation is that she was wearing a t-shirt that listed the NYC marathon on the back (i saw a lot of the back of that t-shirt...).
twice.
the moral? if C2 asks you to go to sushi, you go.
Posted by me at 10:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 09, 2003
i love my girlfriend
a whole lot. i know that everyone knows this, and is tired of hearing about it, but screw you: this is my site and if I want to talk about how great C is, I can. You don't have to read it.
She makes chicken for me (really good chicken) and cuts it up and puts it in the refridgerator so I have it for lunch.
She hangs up my wet towel.
She loves me even though I grind my teeth at night and keep her up. Corollary: she loves me even though I'm a repressed stress case.
She says cute things, like "you hurt the pillows feelings when you throw them off the bed! they're lonely!" and "you can cuddle me, if you like..."
Anyway, she's really great and cute and I'm really lucky.
Posted by me at 03:20 PM | TrackBack
July 08, 2003
threes.
MSNBC finally fired that Savage asshole. It would have been better for everyone if they'd never hired him. In the spirit of his type of commentary, let me just say that if I weren't such a nice person, I'd say that some angry sodomite needs to ass rape him with a big sausage.
SOMEONE called me THREE TIMES IN A ROW at NINE AM (which is EIGHT AM Chicago time, where this person was calling from) and then DID NOT SAY ANYTHING WHEN I PICKED UP (presumably, because his new phone wasn't working properly.) Eventually, I didn't pick up and he left a message. Oh, he knows who he is. What I want to know is why the hell was he up at EIGHT AM?
There's a huge centipede in the shower. Guess I'm not showering today...
Posted by me at 11:01 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
July 03, 2003
sad and sadder
sad: burning PMBR CDs onto your computer so you can transfer them to your iPod and listen to property lectures on the go!
sadder: just for kicks checking to see if the CDDB database has the tracknames. It does. Some other loser did this, too.
Posted by me at 04:03 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
shit, i missed unsolved mysteries
very unfortunate. i got caught up looking at a cookbook for appetizers for our fourth of july get together (consisting entirely of me, C, a friend from college, and C's sister and her fiancee). what the hell has happened to me? i'm the same person that occassionally forgets to take the cardboard ring off the bottom of frozen pizza when i put it in the oven.
Posted by me at 01:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
i will study. you can't stop me.
today is bar day. i'm going to study ALL DAY. oh yes, i will. otherwise, i will fail. that would not be fun. i must not fail. i must study. i will not spend my day off from barbri watching "unsolved mysteries" and lifetime movies, or reading the entire "health and fitness" section of the ny times online (even the stuff about prostate cancer.) i will not fall asleep after C. leaves for work. i will not go running or do pilates instead of studying. i will not clean. i will not talk to the guinea pigs. i will not cook. i will study, and study, and study some more. yes, i will.
oh, i'm going to fail. and i think i'll watch just a little of "unsolved mysteries"...
Posted by me at 07:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 01, 2003
"popular, yet unpretentious"
oh, it's time for some more williamsburg bashing.
condos anyone? did they say "unpretentious"? hehe. did they say "largest artist community in the world"? They must have mispoke--unless "artist" now equals "i graduated from an ivy league/ivy league look alike school and have no intention of getting a job and i'm 27 and my dad pays for my apartment and this new cool trucker hat." williamsburg definitely has the largest community of those sorts of people. and, gasp!, did they say "minutes" from the airports making it "easy" to get home? minutes? MINUTES? as in "5 minutes", the way the phrase minutes is normally translated, or as in "well technically, California is only minutes away if you think about it..."
surprise surprise, this guy sells his shirts in williamsburg (and $5,000, my first born child, and my left foot says he lives here, too). while he claims that this is "art" (sure, what the hell) he's obviously marketing it (which he claims in the article he isn't doing), and the market must be to the hipsters, because they're the only assholes who would buy this stuff. hell, i'd buy one of those "i hate brooklyn" t-shirts if it said "i hate brooklyn industries." that'd be worth it.
Posted by me at 02:23 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack