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February 05, 2005
that was really, really fucked up
sometimes god likes to tap you on the shoulder and say "hey you little whiny fucker, you think that's bad? Oh ho ho, do I got something for you!"
god, in its infinite wisdom, decided to answer my post from last night about commuting annoyances with the most CRAZY FUCKING HOMELESS PERSON EVER TO RIDE A TRAIN.
9am, F train to Manhattan. I get a seat. At Jay St. some guy with a trash bag full of cans gets on. Not that unusual. He smells like 3 year-old kentucky fried chick. Even less unusual. He proceeds to stand in the middle of the car and place 3 empty, uncapped bottles of Snapple on the floor. Ok, a little weird. He pulls out a two liter of Pepsi. Strange, sure. He opens it and proceeds to attempt (theoretically; god knows what he was really trying to do. Besides piss me off.) to pour 2 liters of Pepsi into 3 Snapple bottles. He succeeds in emptying two liters of Pepsi onto the floor of the train and does not get a single drop in any of the Snapple bottles. He then starts jumping up and down and moving his feet around, as if he is trying to hide a bit of garbage under the seat. Pepsi is now covering the floor in half the car. People have pulled their bags on their laps. We all have our feet pulled up, dangling inches above the floor, stomach muscles aching until our stop as we practice an unexpected set of commuting calisthenics.
thanks, god. that was really, really fucked up.
if that happened in gta: san andreas, i totally would have capped his ass. then i would have gone to Cluckin' Bell and had some chicken.
Posted by me at February 5, 2005 12:39 AM
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