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February 13, 2004
I'm hungover. What's your excuse?
That title up there? Yeah. Doesn't mean anything.
I am a little hungover, though. But guess what? I'm going to go drink some more to feel better!
Today has been an absolutely stellar week at work. Yes, STELLAR .
No work got done. Well, some did, but none of it was meaningful, and none of it created bowel-wrenching stress, which is how I've come to classify actual "work" on this slave ship.
I sent out documents to people and signed cover letters like mad this week. FedEx and the bike messenger union of NYC (come on, you know there must be one. There's a fucking actors union, for christ's sake) should pay me a commission. It's still unclear to me whether I'm actually allowed to sign letters, since I haven't been admitted to the bar. In the firm handbook it says I can't, but partner after partner and associate after associate looks at me funny when I bring that up and says, basically, "just write a letter and sign it. and no, I don't want to see a draft of your two sentence cover letter, you moron." So, I think I'm totally like breaking the law and firm policy and ethical codes etc. So, shhh, don't tell anyone they let me sign my own letters on firm letterhead. I know some day this is going to bite me in the ass. I'll be in my senate approval hearings after being nominated to the supreme court and Senator X will stand up and ask "Excuse me, your honor, but isn't it true that you signed your own letters before you were admitted to the bar?!" Everyone in the room will gasp and fall silent. You could hear a pin drop. I will turn white (yes, whiter than I already am. Ha ha ha, you're so funny.) and my eyes will glaze over for an instant, but then I'll recover. "But they told me to! I had no choice! They told me they didn't want to sign letters, I had to sign them myself!" It will be to no avail. My nomination will be stomped. I'll wallow for the rest of my life in some appellate court in the Bronx, cursing the day(s) I signed all those letters "Best regards, [me]".
Posted by me at February 13, 2004 06:10 PM
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